Learn how to manage your setbacks

We all know Steve Jobs was kicked out of Apple company which he had co-founded in 1985. From what we see in the many years that follow he made a remarkable come back.


If Bill Clinton hadn’t been kicked out of his governorship office by voters in 1980, he wouldn’t have ever had a chance to aim for the post of presidency.

When you aim to achieve its only normal that you fail along the line. Some people get it right the first time with beginners luck or whatever strategy they might have employed but that’s never the case with everyone. Even Richard Branson took on Coca-Cola with virgin cola and failed.

Most companies and great business entrepreneurs face failure at certain stages in their lives and careers but the key is turning that failure into an advantage. Things don’t always happen at once, it’s always a messy process with a series of trials and errors.

Here’s a list of three basic steps that would allow you maximize your setbacks and turn them into a win. Follow this three steps and you’ll no doubt score a ‘win’ from each and every fail.

STEP ONE: FAIL BEHIND THE SCENES
This approach is very effective when trying to pitch a sales or business proposal to a client. Practice at home in front of a mirror or record yourself with a video camera. Make all your failures behind close doors. This way you’ll be sure to succeed when the real show begins.

Video yourself, watch it over and over again, notice your mistakes and weaknesses, make notes on how to improve yourself and then make corrections. Some things are better tested out by actually doing than sitting at a desk and thinking about them.

STEP TWO: GET A HONEST SPOTTER
We are amazingly good and convincing at telling ourselves we don’t suck even when we do. In psychology this term is called ‘cognitive dissonance’, meaning its hard for you to keep to apparently contradicting ideas in mind at the same time. For instance, “I’m a talented and respected footballer” and “I’m the reason my team lost this match”. Your brain jettisons one of these beliefs, usually the second one.

The way to avoid this trap is to get an honest spotter. A trusted friend who you can rely on to give you genuine, fair criticism by accessing your gut feelings. Someone that would tell u the truth.

In the gym a spotter helps you push beyond your normal limits. In life, your spotter is someone who helps you side-step the screw-ups your mind won’t admit you might be making.

STEP THREE: DON’T TRAIL YOUR LOSSES
In a game of poker when you’re screwed up or being screwed up its very reckless to go ‘on tilt'(taking reckless risks in attempt to undo the loss).

It can be very hard to fix some mistakes but pretty easy to make them much worse. It’s knowing when to cut your losses that would save you from falling harder. “you should abandon an idea or project when the scale of the ‘sunk cost’ exceeds the benefits of reaching your intended end”, says David Pardy, head of policy and research at the Institute of leadership and management.

If everything you’ve put in is starting to outweigh what you’re going to get in return, it’s time to back out. When things are going wrong the first thing is to calm down. Don’t compound bad decisions. Know when to let go.

If you find your girlfriend needy and irritating and you’re convinced that proposing to her would solve the situation and make things better, my friend you’ve just gone on tilt. Cut and run at the right time and you’ll save yourself a whole lot of hassle.