I feel a range of emotions between minutes I went from talking to sobbing in a flash. I had been struggling to keep my composure and I just couldn’t do it. I had told myself that I wouldn’t cry because of a boy after my first very serious crush. And he did it. Yes he did. He broke my resolve.
There is a reason for my being hard. A reason for my hiding behind the facade of a tough girl. The tom-boy front. The girl that won’t take crap from you. And yes, I am not even half as strong as I’d like to believe. I am weak, and that weakness always rears its ugly head every time I let myself really feel. Its insane how every time I open myself up,it feels like it was a waste. A complete waste.
I love him, I really do but I don’t feel like he gives a shit. What do I do? I want him SO bad. I am scared to say I love him again because he might reject it. This is HARD! Why did I try?
This is the only way I know how to describe the hurt that I now feel. He broke me, he did, he really did. And now I am angry. Angry at the world, at him, at myself because despite the fact that he just really hurt me, I still love him. Yes I still do, I am head over heels, and I don’t like it at all.
Now I love him, maybe he loves me too, maybe he doesn’t, but this pain is much and I might just shut my feelings out……………. soon, really soon.
Source: 247parolz
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